Random Topics

Here's an idea if you're looking for a part-time job. Like usual, you get paid, but in addition, it's likely you receive awards like 'excellent citizen' or some titles of heroic model and furthermore, you might even earn yourself a nickname of 'your-occupation-here + mum'!

For example, if you're a student, you get the 'student mum'.

I'm referring to the news of a female China cop getting promoted after breastfeeding babies orphaned by the deadly Sichuan quake. How cool. Her maternal instincts has just given her a big title, 'the police mum' and promised her better career prospects.

Next time when you're working, I suggest you've a copy of this. According to the mentioned example, it simply offers better promotion prospects.


Makes you more employable

Gosh, the Dummies collection is fantastic.

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I've been having fun in Utopia, an old online game. And it amuses me to see how different people can be different in leading their virtual provinces.

You see, Freddy prefers to be a Gnome, a race with superb thievery abilities. He'd cry whenever his thieves get caught during operations and it's heart-warming to see such a caring thieves' leader but it's definitely nasty when his ka kias steal warhorses, food and gold from you and kidnap your peasants. Damn, sometimes they burn down your buildings.

On the other hand, Ian leads the Elves. Needless to say, he's playing magic all the time with his crazy amount of wizards. If his kingdom is warring yours, and if you can count your wizards with your fingers, I suggest you defect out of his sight. Meteor showers will kill your innocent peasants, how cruel!

Here, I think we can conclude that Fred and Ian could potentially be aggressive future leaders.

Meanwhile, when the night sky's still lighted up with flying cannons and fireballs, the Dwarves are still enjoying their easy lives, breeding horses and sowing the fields. Unaware of when a war might come, their army specialists have already returned home. Their wizards are not longer a threat to other provinces as they now practise easy spells like 'Love & Peace' and 'Nature's Blessings', rather than war-enhancing spells such as 'Bloodlust' and 'Aggression'.

Yeap, this is KEVIN's province. How peaceful isn't it? While other provinces have set a 65% soldier draft rate, his province's majority are still peasants. I think that's why he enjoys from +50% birth rate lor, his peasants have nothing better to do than making love everyday.

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Sabrina and Kevin should start blogging too. It's better than just pestering ppl for blog updates!

Lewd Chimps

You know what? Female chimpanzees can be really smart, in a horny way though. I'm saying this not simply because they produce more copulation calls when high-ranking male chimps're around, but hell, they intentionally keep themselves quiet to conceal their sexual activity when high-ranking female chimps're around!

Wait.

Hor! Maybe these chimps wanna spice up their boring hoot-hoot life by having extramarital affairs without getting caught red-handed!


Her innocent child would soon turn naughty too..

I have no idea about their hierarchy there. Maybe they upgrade their ranks by hooting and beating their chests like King Kong. Or maybe they fight Pocoyo, just like what King Kong did.


Pocoyo vs King Kong!

Back to the tactical part, I really doubt if these innocent chimps ever reached orgasm. I haven't heard a lot about 'quiet sex', and it's probably boring for us humans, but I just don't know if the same applies to chimps. Or maybe they've trained themselves hard to focus on what's going on down there.

If you happen to come across any sort of unhealthy activity like this in the TV, just turn it off. You wouldn't want to bore yourself with the muted version of helplessly-bouncing bunnies. Bunnies is just a better word for chimps.

On a side note, I remember Professor J.T.Z.W's theory vividly: Quiet sex is bad to health.

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How many of you actually knows the existence of this blog? Raise up your hand.

Lazy Eye

Or Amblyopia.

To put it this way, one of my eyes suffers from severe short-sightedness that it can't see what's going on even if you're standing just five feet before me pointing your middle finger at me. The most it can see in this distance is a blurry kinda-monstrous-like figure, literally.

I should be able to tell if George's twenty feet near me, though. You know size always outweighs myopia. I hope you do, at least in this case.

So in the attempt of getting my NUS medical check-up done locally & successfully, I had to meet the only eye specialist in Sibu, Dr Kang. She's one nice specialist and everything went smoothly. Not to mention I failed to see even the freaking largest E on the Snellen chart with my poor eye.



Doctor's handwriting is alwaaaaaaaaaaaays so illegible that it almost takes you forever to interpret what they actually write. Mind you, a wonderful word like 'acuity' could come out like a long tangled worm from a doctor's hand. And I think they probably feel cool when they see you hold their written paper for more than five minutes trying to figure their words.

Doctors.

Just a piece of advice to my fellow friends out there who are or going to pursue medical-related course: Please don't torture your patients.

The conclusion in the report was nothing bad. But there's one thing that the doctor said had amused me. Apparently I'm somehow blessed, according to her. This because, when y'all are old enough to put on those lao hua yan jing, I'm still cool with no specs on! Why, you may ask. The reason follows like this: The poor eye that I've been mentioning actually got into terrible remorse and in order to compensate, it'd be working extraordinarily when I'm old.

Ok no. It's just that this poor eye could work well within a short range. It can't see far far things lah, but like I said, it's working pretty well in a short range. In case you don't know (frankly I just knew it this evening), people tend to lose their ability to see close objects gradually as they age.

And tomorrow I'll be taking blood-test and x-ray. It'll be a non-fasting blood-test so yay, supper isn't banned. (Dammit I always end up in dizziness after blood-test. No I don't fear blood!)

Right now I really need a joke to cheer me up and make me stop thinking about tomorrow's appointment. So let me just quote a joke here:

Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.

2nd Child: Why are you crying?

1st Child: I came here for a blood test.

2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?

1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.

The first one was astonished.

1st Child: Why are you crying now?

2nd Child: I came for a urine test!

Not funny. I thought so too. Maybe I'd try praying. Or just tell myself blood is cute.



Oh and, once again, I'm not afraid of blood!

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I just got my Mozilla Firefox certificate! Wahahahahahahahaha first online cert. Smth to be proud of? :)

Firefox 3

Apparently Mozilla Firefox folks are trying to leave a mark in the Guinness World Record. More than one million people have pledged to download Mozilla Firefox 3 on the same day (June 17, the official launch date) and several hundreds parties would be held all around the world. I doubt there'd be any in Malaysia.

Mozilla's brother having intercourse with tower

Anyway, you've probably guessed they're hitting the 'Most downloads in a single day' spot.

If you're hoping for something in return, Mozilla actually offers an online version of participant cert. Just grab a copy of MF3 and download the cert during the launch day.

And if you're one who does intensive browsing with crazy amount of tabs, MF3 will be your ultimate choice. MF2've been a top choice among browsers and it's claimed that MF3'd consume even less memory and thus act more responsive compared to MF2.

Lebih kuat lagi, MF dudes said "Safari 3 and Internet Explorer 8 could not be benchmarked because they crashed" during a performance test. Software producers almost never stop boasting about their own products.

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Peon is a cute worker in Warcraft III.

Genesis

Don't play play.

There was this guy on a prestigious hovercraft, who needed to poo as badly as Britney Spears wanted to shave her head. So after getting consent the cabin crew, he headed to the female's washroom because the others were fully occupied.

Just when he was about to flush the toilet, he saw three buttons - WW, HA, ATR. He remembered one of the stewardess had reminded him not to touch anything else besides the flush button and the washing basin but the advice was unheeded. You know la, guys can be extremely curious especially when they're in female's toilet.

So he pressed the WW button. He almost jumped up when several streams of warm water spouted at his butt. Even more excited, he then pressed then HA button. He was better prepared this time as he knew it'd be hot air coming out and he was right.

Couldn't figure out what ATR meant, he pressed it in sheer ecstasy.

Vision darkened and he passed out straight off.

Lesson: Either be very good in abbreviation or don't act smart.

Fuiyo, imagine what an Automatic Tampon Remover can do to your dear lil. (if you're a guy)

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They say as long as you eat regularly, gastric pain won't come. Fuck my tummy then. I just had another gastric attack without any reason.